G's Journal
Edited for public viewing... :-)
Each time I have been in Namibia, I learn many things about myself, I can say... most of them are things that I do not like. I was talking with Dieter this morning and he mentioned something about people on another team. His comment was "Once he discovers that the reason he wants to hang him from a tree is because he sees himself, he will be alright." This is something that has been brought to my attention many times in my life... but it's a tough lesson to learn. The times that I am stressing about about someone's behavior it is because I can be that way or have been that way... I find the toughest thing is to figure out how to love someone the way that they need to be loved. This has been my struggle for quite some time. With the children here, we need to completely rely on what God is telling us to do... as with Nambo, but I do see myself in other situations reacting without consultation... which only leads to more stress on my behalf. My prayer is that I am able to carefully choose my timing and let God speak through me.
I have also discovered lots of things that I have been hiding from since my mom's death (and long before) and the coping mechanism that I have developed. I have discovered feelings that I do not want and never realized where really there. The thing that amazes me, is that He brings them up right before they come in handy. My prayer in that is that I continue to realize these feelings and not keep them burried. I do know that I would not be the person I am today without my past... I would not be able to relate to the people that God brings into my life with out my experiences... as painful as they may be... I am who God has created me to be.
posted by germaine @ 6:28 AM
